The State of Things

My toothpicks are running thin.
My bicycle tires are flattening.
My iPod screen scratches are increasing.


I can't really remember the last time I've been consistently "okay" for an entire day.
Though these past weeks have been getting better.
I've focused more on self-improvement than on trying to understand things.
By doing this I've started to understand myself, inadvertently.
Things are making sense.

Aw Dude.

Yesterday was an adventure.

That's a pretty lame and easy way to say it, but it was a long ass night.

Banhs to start off the day-

No I'm not going to write down my entire saturday.

I just felt important because I hanged out with hoodrats and they let me be the guy who holds the weed till it was needed.

In a somewhat unrelated topic.

I wish people didn't lie to me.

Or at least admit they did afterward.

It would just be nice.

I didn't feel well yesterday, and today just feels weird.

I wonder how cool I would be if I wasn't lazy.

I'm okay.

My prayers have been answered and now I am mostly unaffected by any emotional event.

My mother admitted her drug problem to me in my sister's room.

My sister got in a skiing accident, breaking 3 vertebrae and a few ribs.

My father is driving himself crazy.

I didn't feel much from any of these things.

I wouldn't think that I would regret my wish to be a rock lobster, but I do.

I couldn't deal with emotion during that time.

I can't imagine my current situation when people ask me how I am.

Ventures

I wish I was emotionless.

Like Hedgewin, a psychiatrist.

A character in a play that a student wrote.

He is robotic and wears a lab coat.

In the play, I played him as a rock

But after an hour and a half told on a clock,

I was vulnerable and I shun.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

I just hate this time of year, a fact I've already made clear.

It's that time of year.

December is not a good month for me.

I was born in december, but that's not the reason.
It's because of my past as a teenager. All of the past hearts that I gave away.
(I typed teeanger at first, freudian slip I suppose)




You know how in movies or tv shows there's the one person in the relationship or the person being interviewed for a job say,
"I care too much"

I think that's how I am.
I want to let go.
I want to be an emotionless rock (lobster) like she is.

A Fortune Cookie gave me a back handed compliment

I'm thinking of writing down all of the things I tell you in my head.

I assume half of them won't make sense.

But maybe some of them will be beautiful to you.

"You constantly struggle for self improvement" 

Policia

I saw a concert last night. 

It was some radical liberal hip-hop band.

My dad likes to sway to that music.

I didn't because I was too busy wearing cowboy boots.

I went to the movie theatre last weekend.

I was waiting for the rest of my friends to get there.

A girl asked me if I was over 17, I said no. She wanted me to buy her a ticket for some R movie.

She walked up to another man after asking me.

He reached in his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and reveled a badge while saying the words,

"I don't think so."

My friend is writing a screenplay of a cop movie.

It'll be funny and satirical.