Ventures

I wish I was emotionless.

Like Hedgewin, a psychiatrist.

A character in a play that a student wrote.

He is robotic and wears a lab coat.

In the play, I played him as a rock

But after an hour and a half told on a clock,

I was vulnerable and I shun.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

I just hate this time of year, a fact I've already made clear.

It's that time of year.

December is not a good month for me.

I was born in december, but that's not the reason.
It's because of my past as a teenager. All of the past hearts that I gave away.
(I typed teeanger at first, freudian slip I suppose)




You know how in movies or tv shows there's the one person in the relationship or the person being interviewed for a job say,
"I care too much"

I think that's how I am.
I want to let go.
I want to be an emotionless rock (lobster) like she is.

A Fortune Cookie gave me a back handed compliment

I'm thinking of writing down all of the things I tell you in my head.

I assume half of them won't make sense.

But maybe some of them will be beautiful to you.

"You constantly struggle for self improvement" 

Policia

I saw a concert last night. 

It was some radical liberal hip-hop band.

My dad likes to sway to that music.

I didn't because I was too busy wearing cowboy boots.

I went to the movie theatre last weekend.

I was waiting for the rest of my friends to get there.

A girl asked me if I was over 17, I said no. She wanted me to buy her a ticket for some R movie.

She walked up to another man after asking me.

He reached in his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and reveled a badge while saying the words,

"I don't think so."

My friend is writing a screenplay of a cop movie.

It'll be funny and satirical. 

I buy the drugs.

har har har.

You know how you can ruin your entire weekend by worrying about nothing?

I did that.

Now I'm not worrying about things I very well should be.

School and all.

I never thought of myself as apathetic, but I assume it just spills out some weeks.

And.

It's not my fault I can't sing a minor scale.

It's not fair.

hm

My dad told me two songs to play at his funeral.

Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog.

and 

Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks.

I heard them when I was sweeping my walkway today.

This is my 2nd post about me sweeping.

Like the 50's.

I wish I could ask you to dance to a Julie London record.

But that won't happen. It would make me vulnerable.

I'm too soft.

Wouldn't that be funny, if when I was married, Julie London was be playing?

Seems realistic enough, since I'm thinking about it now.

Married.

I won a toy slot machine when I was young.

I got the 3 bars in a row.

That's the highest one can score.

Major Tom

I don't think I could wear makeup.

Not because it's too weird for me.

I hate things being on my skin.

Like stickers.

Or you.

Spy sappin mah sentry

Really though.

Homework sappin mah free time.

I'm glad everyone enjoyed my heist of the Chemistry homework.

I think I've gotten a lot dorkier.

I find myself saying things no one else understands.

Like this title.

But I'm glad of it, I think last year I was too normal when it came to my speech.

"how does soap work to eliminate dirt"

School started.

This was my first homework assignment. 

Abundant Bible

Go to, http://nevergonnagiveyoup.blogpsot.com/

It's not my blog.

But it's someone else's I guess.

WoW

I wish I could get rich.

I wish I could find a belt in real life and sell it for 65 gold pieces.

I wish that becoming someone's friend was just a /target away.

I wish I could stop playing this damn game.

Library

I saw a 40 something man teaching another 40 something man to read.

I decided to check out an audio book.

I need more mana.

Someone said I view my self as an artist now.

Fuck art.

There is no such thing as art.

If blogs are art then they are shit.

If paintings are art then they are shit as well.

If video games are art then they are shit.

The shit goes on.

Their shittyness doesn't mean they're intolerable or horrid, shit is just a nice word to use.

Mortality is also shit, but for completely different reasons.

It's a powerpoint

On the radio, some author with the last name Gosling (not to be confused with the movie star or baby goose) said that writers who use "I" a large amount of the time in their writing are usually heavily depressed and possibly even suicidal. 

My mom thought he was a smartie, so she told me to write down the name of his book.

Snoop I believe.

It sounds like I'm a viral marketing add.

But I'm not.

I drew a superhero.

And I was proud of him.

I've always hated everything I create.

Especially my drawings. And children.

I am complex and have a rewarding personality

I just liked the title.


It reminds me of who I don't want to be.
I sound rude.
But I would rather doubt myself than be confident.




Hear me out though,

I'm creative.
I have good ideas.
I'm complex.



I bet this isn't as clever as I thought it was.

I Swept You Off My Front Porch

I scooped up a transformer car in my gutters.

I threw it down on the porch below.

A week later I discarded it along with leaves.

I couldn't help thinking about you.

Hey Bear, oh leave me alone.

I feel like a hypocrite. 

Probably because I am one.

I say bipolar people are stupid.

But I'm pretty bipolar. 

I don't think I'M extremely bipolar. Just more than some.

I was talking to my dad about capitalization when he was writing A message to some musician he likes on myspace.

I realized I only capitalize because when I was born,

On the Internet,

Capitalization was an important quality in order to be taken SERIOUSly.

I wonder if this BLOGGER community would think differently about that.

(space for you to be surprised by caps lock)

WHAT DO YOU THINK COMMUNITY?

PS! FIND THE HIDDEN MESSAGE FOR EXTRA POINTS!!!!(MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!)

barkley

I keep the TV on longer than I should.

I close the front door faster than I should.

I buy twenty dollars worth of legos at 9:30 pm on a saturday night just for the fun it.

I promote my clone troopers to ranks such as, Cool Blue, Burning Yellow, or Red Hot.

I feel no remorse while beating my bestfriends in a videogame.

I enjoy kicking people off of the screen with the power of the Triforce.

I will buy two dollar milkshakes as I scream HICK HICK to fellow bystanders of Cook Out.

I graduate from highschool and let higher education round and cube my life.

Decision Making Process

I decided to read outside.

It was after eight. I would call it twilight perhaps.

During the twilight I always expect something to happen.

Something otherworldly.

I expect a tree to open up and reveal a computer.

I expect a blue wizard to appear behind me.

He would whisper, it's time.

I heard what seemed to be a small child screaming like a bird.

Hopefully it was just for fun.

I would feel sad and hopeless if the child was in the process of transmogrifying into a bird.

I would feel jealous.

At first I was frightened and surprised.

I instead decided to enjoy the meaning of it, or lack there of.

I heard two bats in the sky and forgot what I had earlier decided.

When I was little I took the valentine's I had received and put them down the air conditioning vent in my room.

I wish I could confidently say that was ironic. 

But I have to wait a couple weeks before I am sure.

I now have sympathy for the french.

I now know how hard it is to live without air conditioning.

The sun's only hitting you dad.

The first large blow out after my sister's return.

I think it's fitting that it happened on father's day.

I stopped trying to make peace between them.

If I did, they would be unhappy.

My sister has to hate someone.

And my dad has to complain about someone.

He told me not to try.

He told me not to try to do things for him on father's days or birthdays.

He promised to be alone on those days.

He's been alone for most days.

I'm alone right now.

Revised To Do List

Learn to animate in flash.

Finish bed.

Make bed.

Make dictionary fit in drawer.

Go round mums.

Get liz back.

Sort out life.

"I wish I could flip cars"

I'm quite sure the young man who said this was serious.

Technology

In order to put a stop to my repetitive brain patterns which cause me to become depressed, angry, or lazy for no reason, I will have to first stop my repetitive actions with technology.

No more brawl.

No more constant checking of buddy lists or notifications.

No more writing for this blog.

This will probably be extremely hard for me.

But I have to start some where.

Hey girl.

We're going to a movie.

That's how this is going down.

wilkins is subtle yet clever.

We think alike.

His victory dance is quite impressive as well.

To Do List

• Get groupies for band
• Crash katherine vandis's wedding
• Rick Roll graduation
• Go on an adventure with nick
• Make vegetarian chili
• Write a poem, then eat it

I capitalize I because I am the most important thing.

I'm eating cheese.

Just sitting on a couch eating cheese.

I wonder if I would be happier if I never knew you.

I used to be happily in denial.

I wonder if people actually do just underestimate me.

Or if I'm just trying to make an excuse for my own short comings.

nick kneed caitlin.

They should date.

Everyday, I judge the day on the last 5 minutes.

The last 5 minutes of yesterday I spent worrying that I shouldn't have left my curtains open.

It was the first time in forever.

Funky

Everyday my hair looks more like a flock of seagulls.

I saw a box that shared your birthday.

It was sitting on a floor of intelligently placed tetris blocks that way no one would be able to tell the true origin or shape of the blocks.

 

cornershop lied when they told me the funky days were back again.

I've been dressing and acting funky for awhile.

And I'm still not the norm.

Everyday my personality is more like flight of the conchords.

frances

I think frances is a fun girl.
She's a bit smarter than me too.


Hands are complex.
I think you should look at them more closely.


david mamet writes plays.
He explained a fact that I reflect on daily, when you're outside, somewhere like a coffee place or a bank, the only place you really have to go is home. But when you're at home, the possibilities are endless.
It's a conundrum.

I ate a fucking octopus.
Why did I do that.
I'm the worst vegetarian.



wilkins likes frances.
I'm glad about that.